1 month almost down, just a little over 6 more to go

At least..that is the plan. We will see as the time gets closer.

Whew! I made it thru the first month. We've had a lot of 30-ish minute phone calls. Usually once or twice daily. It's hard though. Kuwait is 11 hours ahead of California time, and Tom is typically working night shifts there while I am on a daytime schedule here, falling asleep early each night. Sometimes when he calls it is 1:00 or 2:00 a.m (Kuwait-time). I am thankful he cares enough to check on us.

I have not been blogging much. I am getting more exhausted these days. Tolerance/patience level is way down..usually I'm ridiculously patient, especially with the kids. Grouchiness is way up..my daily cardio has been lacking. That and my emotions & feelings are all over the place. Not really processing anything. No time and to be honest, I don't really feel like dealing with certain things right now(of course, I grew up with the mindset of "if you ignore it long enough, maybe/eventually it'll go away"). Just have to keep moving forward. I also am trying to be the strong one for the kids.

Not really sure how I should be feeling. I feel like I am losing my mind and my sense of self. Everything is usually about the kids or Tom. I don't get much "me" time..not even the bathroom for 5 minutes without all heck breaking loose. Someday.

PS. Is it bad I have mostly stopped reading a good friends' blog because things go so well for their family compared to our challenges(not even including Tom's deployment)? If anyone is actually reading this post, it is most likely NOT you that I'm referring to.

Christmas '08 pics

Thanks to Shelly, Dina & the YW for this wonderful Christmas present/surprise!

Family Pics--late August/early September? '08

These(and the several previous posts) were taken by Tom's brother-in-law, so we could get in family pictures this year before Tom started his pre-deployment training. This is, I think, Brea? at the Tri-City Park.

Family Pics

What a cutie! I'd like to go out with this girl. (Tom wrote that, while trying to leave a comment)

Family pics: me & the boys

Family pics: Andrew & Tom

Family pics

Family pics

The sound of winter..

This was part of Ivy's homework this week to answer(with one word) different questions about winter. This one is definitely post worthy.

"Winter, winter, what does it sound like?"

Ivy's answer (she came up w/this all on her own):
Abalag (ie. avalanche)

3 tight

i thought this was rather cute yesterday. as a little background, i always try keep the kids on task when teaching them about putting shoes, pants and shirts on. so i'll say "1 arm, 2 arms", "1 leg, 2 legs" or "1 foot, 2 feet" while they put the appropriate body part in the clothing. it works pretty well, and (in the past Ivy and) Collin repeat the phrases.

Collin(while putting on his shoes): "1 shoe. 2 shoes. 3 shoes." (there weren't 3 shoes, he literally doesn't know when to stop for counting objects)
Me: "3 shoes? You're silly."

now folding down the velcro straps
Collin: "2 tight. 3 tight." (He said "3 tight" really agitated. I taught him "too tight" for when his shoes are bothering him)

I'll blog later about this past week that we had with Tom. Once the reality of everything has settled in. It still seems surreal.. He flies out to Kuwait tomorrow. We did enjoy our week, the kids had lots of bonding time w/dad, and probably the first time I've seen Tom cry.

I've certainly got my work cut out for me. I had a dream last night that I was visiting a school I was considering placing Collin at next year. The teacher wouldn't let me go see the class, even though I had permission. I remember saying, to myself, in my dream to just cross that off my list of possible schools, and then a few moments later seeing that teacher being fired.

A girl who knows what she wants

Bless her heart, Ivy is getting rather good at writing sentences. She wrote this all on her own without asking how to spell anything. Never mind the missing or incorrect letters and lack of spacing between the words, that's expected for a kindergartener. I was very proud of her for doing such a good job. She slid this note to me under the bathroom door the other night, but didn't quite get the desired result: "I want to stay up late" (it was already bedtime when I got the note)

i love my dr!

i am soooo glad to have a dr who listens to me & will call in prescriptions when i need them(instead of me dragging all 3 kids & waiting in the office, just for a prescription). i've seen this dr for nearly 7 years and have really good rapport with her. i needed a refill on something that i let the prescription refills run out of back at the beginning of the year...it was a really bad mistake. i was told on the phone by the receptionist two days ago that i'd only get a 1 month supply, since i'm going in next month. i went to pick it up today, and i have a full year(which i desperately need). i should be feeling like myself again in a couple weeks, just in time for thanksgiving!

update on deployment

i'll either end up deleting or editing this post if my information is wrong or if it's something i'm not allowed to say(i'm pretty sure i am allowed though). it's looking like around december 2nd. 9 days sooner than what i had previously thought(and started telling people) and about 29 days sooner than i had originally hoped for. i feel like i got punched in the stomach on that one, since i am literally feeling sick to my stomach.

most likely the last time off he gets before the deployment is thanksgiving--he gets 96 hrs(wednesday thru saturday night, and heads down sunday morning).he may or may not be able to come home this weekend because of a scheduling issue with the navy, and tom's not told anything until the very last minute. that is the one thing i really can't stand about the military.

101 goals in 1001 days

i found the link to this, yay!

http://www.triplux.com/dayzero/

ugh..i think i'm gonna be sick

"ACLU, LAMBDA and other anti-marriage groups have filed three lawsuits asking the California Supreme Court to strike down the recently passed California Marriage Amendment as being unconstitutional.

The ACLU – which donated $1.2 million to defeat the marriage amendment – is now saying that the people of California have no right to amend their Constitution!"

holy cow!

i took collin in today for his very first dental visit. i knew he had maybe 3 or 4 cavities but was shocked to hear he had 8 cavities & needs 2 root canals, plus being sedated. i had figured out the needing to be sedated before we got there. he hates any type of restraint. it'll probably be next month when his dental stuff gets done. today he did x-rays(they did digital x-rays...pretty cool i thought) and got his teeth cleaned.

still here, just busy

we got our replacement camera. it's different than the 3 that i was originally looking at, but that's okay. we can use our rechargeable AA batteries, instead of having to buy a special type of battery and a special recharger for it. it's a fujifilm finepix s1000fd. still trying to figure out all the in's & out's of what all the different settings are for, but we are definitely pleased with the choice i made.

we have been extremely blessed by tom's being able to come home for friday afternoons & saturdays. sundays, he leaves before any of the kids wake up.

i've been exhausted, but finally feeling a bit more rested. i felt really rested last week when i turned off the alarm(to get collin ready), and hopped back in bed for nearly an hour. we missed his bus by 20 minutes. pretty sad, considering it comes to the driveway. luckily, ivy was dropped off at school by some friends. collin starts school about 30 minutes before ivy, but their schools end at the same time.

i've gotten lots of offers for help since we were "allowed" to tell people about tom's deployment. i'm going to start having to take people up on those offers.

i saw this on a friend's blog, and she off another friends' about 101 things to do in 1000 days(i'll link it when i have time to find it). i'm going to start getting my list made, but my list will be for the rest of the time that tom's gone. it's good for me to start making goals for myself again...give myself a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

lack of pictures

two days ago, collin broke our digital camera lens & now the camera doesn't work. i'm eyeing a few different ones, but haven't gotten a replacement yet.

i wanted to find something comparable or better than our Canon A520 that broke..not hard since they don't make it anymore. my criteria were: 1)our budget, 2)4x or higher on optical zoom. our canon had 4, and 3) no less than 4 megapixels, since that's what the broken one has, and 4)favorable reviews.

these have made my list of possibilities(in no particular order):

1. Panasonic FS5

2. Nikon S550 Coolpix

3. Kodak Easyshare Z8612

kind of leaning toward the kodak(but not decided yet), since it comes with a lens cap. it also seems like all that optical zoom would be great for the next time ivy's in a ballet class or performance or something. the nikon seems like a good deal. it ends up being $1 less than the kodak w/accessories(battery charger, case).. the only thing i don't like about the nikon is the lens looks pretty much the same as what the canon's style of lens was. don't want a repeat accident.

My first tag..

4 RANDOM THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY HUSBAND:
1. his arms around me
2. he left me a bunch of typed up compliments as pick-me-ups while he's gone, to help me on my low days
3. when he's laughing so hard he's just shaking
4. he puts up with my exercise video fetish(luckily justifiable, since I use them)


4 JOBS I'VE HAD:
1. (voluntary)Librarian Assistant
2. Cashier(fast food, bookstore)
3. Friend, sibling, child, spouse
4. Mother


4 MOVIES I'VE WATCHED MORE THAN ONCE:
1. p.s. i love you
2. mr. holland's opus
3. a beautiful mind
4. what about bob?


4 TV SHOWS I WATCH:
1. The Biggest Loser..I've watched religiously since Season 1(now on Season 6)
2. Project Runway(we don't have cable, so I watch via Netflix & buying previous season dvd sets at Blockbuster. I'm up to the end of Season 3). I also like Tim Gunn's Guide to Style(again, no cable), and saw Season 1 (this summer) from Amazon.com's video on demand.
3. Word World(PBS) with the kids
4. Veggie Tales(Saturday mornings on NBC) with the kids


4 PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY:
1. Tom (at the moment it's phone calls)
2. Anne
3. Ellen
4. Kerinda


4 OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. lasagne
2. cheescake
3. oatmeal(1/2 cup oatmeal mixed w/2 eggs, and 2 packets of splenda)
4. Balance protein bars(a huge staple for me in the mornings)


4 PLACES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:
1. dreamland, uninterrupted (mostly my doing..kids get up earlier than last fall, but i've been going to bed later than i should)
2. ireland
3. church history sites in missouri
4. the bathroom, kid free


4 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IN THE COMING YEAR:
1. Tom's deployment being over
2. Seeing my family(I got 2 new brother in-laws and a sister-in-law in the past 6 months, and soon a new niece/nephew)
3. Hearing Andrew's vocabulary(both sign langugae & verbal) expand
4. Ivy *hopefully* keeping her bed dry overnight & out of overnight diapers.



4 PEOPLE I TAG:
1. Sabrina
2. Rebecca
3. Lam
4. Natalie

Just wondering..

Can it be summer now? If not, can we all just hibernate for 9 months? It's soo hard for me to motivate myself to go anywhere besides church, the grocery stores, and Ivy's school to drop off & pick her up. I found a story time at the library that Andrew & I could actually make it to, but I chickened out yesterday.

Tom may be going down to San Diego on Saturday, not Sunday like I thought. Seriously, I feel sick to my stomach.

Putting foot in mouth

That is exactly what Boeing is doing. Boeing is re-instating their job offer to Tom. The lady from ESGR, that has been working (on voluntary basis) for us, sent us the email from Boeing's lawyer. This is just me paraphrasing.

He(the lawyer) said the hiring manager was seeking advice since Tom would be "unavailable", and the lawyer didn't know it was because of "deployment." Also said something to the effect of he found out parts of the law(that protects us) that he was unaware of and didn't know that courts would see the job offer retraction as illegal.

Um..yeah..I don't believe that. They have the signs all over the walls, and I would think/hope that as part of Boeing's lawyers that he'd be pretty familiar with these laws. I think he got caught red-handed and wanted to make himself not look so bad. Thank you all so much for your prayers.

I actually found out the news before Tom. I pulled Ivy aside, and asked her if she remembers how she's been praying every night for "Daddy to get a job." She shook her head yes, and I told her that he has his job back now. I also felt the need to ask if she thought he got his job back because of her saying prayers, to which she again eagerly nodded her head yes. Then it was high-fives after telling Ivy that her prayers worked and that she doesn't need to pray for Daddy to get a job anymore.

Pretty good weekend

Tom got the weekend off for Conference, without even having to ask permission. Apparently, the restaurant the Coast Guard goes to for lunch is closed on the weekends, and whoever's in charge didn't want to provide lunches for everyone! Awesome! I told Tom, I'd take any reason no matter how silly. He and the kids had good bonding time.

I can't wait till this Thursday when all the talks from Conference will be available to read. So many good things, I felt drawn to several talks. I loved Sunday morning, at the end, Pres. Monson's talk. That's where I got my quote I added to the sidebar.

The only downside to this weekend was that Tom checked out our compact car, (that we just had fixed a few weeks ago) since it's been giving us problems since we got it back. Sometimes the car plays nice, but it didn't yesterday. Turns out, the car place didn't fix the last fan belt like they were supposed to & it had a huge tear in it, and several bolts were loose. Nice. They just lost any future business from us. He's at his dad's fixing it. Hopefully they'll get it done tonight, since Tom has to drive it tomorrow and he's only going to be home in the evenings this week.

My lists

The past few days I've been making a mental list of things to avoid like the plague while Tom's gone. There's nothing inherently wrong with these things. I just feel like they may make time go slower or make me more emotional than I'd like. I like to feel like I'm in control, because in all honesty, there are so many things going on in our lives and I have very little control.

1. Chick-flicks & books (including PS I Love You--I had watched that right before news he would be deploying)...although, since Tom's not a huge chick-flick fan, this would be a great time to reconsider adjusting the order of my Netflix queue.
2. Romantic songs
3. Too much down-time/free-time(the busier I am, the better)
4. Reading a copy of the Serenity Prayer, or Footsteps in the Sand
5. Visiting his extended family and having to explain our situation

I'm sure this list will grow, but these are all I can remember at the moment.

Things I worry about:

1. Collin-he starts kindergarten next year, and it's up to me about placement, goals & if any main-streaming will be attempted. Right now, he's doing a lot of babbling that we can't understand. He doesn't know how to: answer yes/no questions, say "my name is collin" by himself without me prompting the whole phrase, his age, feelings, or how to answer "how are you?", count to 20, write ABC's, recognize lowercase letters. If he were to be in kindergarten right now, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. I sure have my work cut out for me.

2. The kids being cranky/missing Tom the entire time he's gone.

3. Higher separation anxiety issues with all 3 kids.

4. Not getting enough "me time" (see #3, above)

5. Not being able to sleep good at night. I have never slept well on other(much shorter) trips he's taken. Every little sound at night makes me feel paranoid. The longest we've been at home without Tom is 2 weeks.

6. Not being able to keep up with everything and being burned out or me being perpetually cranky

7. Dropping huge amount of weight(I'm talking over 15 lbs here). That'll be interesting with my hypoglycemia. Last time he was gone(North Carolina, this summer), I ended up eating after the kids eat and was losing like 1-2 lbs per day the first few days. I can't even fathom the next 9 months.

Feeling Crafty..part 2

Ivy's dress is nearly done(it didn't take 2 weeks to make, I've just been busy)! I've even convinced her to wear it for school pictures on Tuesday. If we're paying for pictures anyway, might as well have her look nice in them, right? I'm just finishing hem on the ruffle & doing a self-made single bias tape on the armpits(out of the same fabric). It's a little hard to tell, but on the back there is a sort of ruching/gathering with elastic on the inside of the back piece. I may be making her a small matching purse, from an Amy Butler pattern, called Stash & dash bags, since I have leftover fabric.

I haven't even started on the boys' pants yet, but I'm planning on using this online tutorial called "10 minute trousers." Essentially, it's using the boys' existing pants or shorts as a pattern.

new background

i made it myself! thanks for the tips natalie!

Feeling Crafty

Yesterday I found a cool new fabric store a couple miles from me, and found these 2 designer fabrics(both thin corduroy) for $3/yd--the online co-op I sometimes order from is $5-6/yd+shipping. So I thought it was a good deal. I'm going to make the boys matching pants & a dress(maybe jumper style?) for Ivy. Looks so yummy for fall.

first days of school

ivy & collin both started school last week. ivy on tuesday & collin on thursday.

all ready for her 1st day

she gave me the thumbs up on the backpack(i got it while talking to her on the phone)

poor ivy. her school faces east & the sun was in every kids' face while their parents took pictures.

fancy pantsy lunchbox. seriously, i think this is her favorite part about school: she gets to take a lunch with her, like collin has been doing.

excuse just the shirt & boxer undies. collin was super excited to try on his new backpack. the one from last year barely made it thru the school year, so i had to find something built better. it's thomas the train.

Update

Why do things have to get harder before they get easier?? Everything was settling in nicely with Tom's new job, Ivy & Collin starting back up at their schools, and I was finally feeling like I could actually breathe and relax. By the way, Ivy and Collin are both loving being in school.


Wednesday afternoon, that all came crashing down. Tom called me in the middle of Collin's therapy to let me know that the parent-company he was going to re-join(he was with them before the split-off) is retracting the job offer(even though he already accepted and and everything was almost finalized). We're guessing their retracting it because of Tom's deployment, which is BLANTANTLY illegal. They're legally obligated to keep his job or comparable job for him while he's gone, so he has something to come back to. Tom's filing a complaint, and getting a statement in writing from the company why they took the offer back.

At work(same buldings as the parent company he's transferring to) has this plastered all over the walls. This is why he wants the statement in writing from the HR department.



He has a company helping him with the complaint, who specializes in military situations like ours. If nothing happens with the complaint, we're going to government representatives over our district & the district the company is located in. After that, bring on the news stations! The sad/ironic part is that this is one of the top Defense Contractors companies in the contry..they get contracts from the military!!!!!!!! This is one fight we are going to give it our all.

Comfort & strength

Andrew & Grandpa Lewis

Friday night, very late, I got a Father's blessing from my dad. We were staying at the same hotel as they were for the wedding. With all that's going on/will be going on pretty soon, I've felt like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. So many things were said, some too personal to share here. I was blessed many times w/peace. I was also blessed that there would be angels watching over me & Tom. I am soo lucky & thankful to have a dad who can & is more than willing to give Father's blessings. I'm also very grateful to have seen my parents for the wedding, and to spend quality time(albeit short sometimes, due to restless boys) w/other members of my family. It's probably going to be awhile before the next time we're able to go see them.

Our trip to Vegas

One of my younger brothers just got re-married, in the Las Vegas temple, on Friday. We went up Thursday, and got back Saturday evening. Longest road trip we've done w/the kids since April, when we went down to San Diego for Tom's friend's wedding. Enjoy the pics!

Thursday

Between these books w/buttons to push, our portable dvd player, and lots of snacks, the kids were set.

Collin, just relaxing.

We were in a hurry to leave on Thursday, and I had seen Ivy packing her own bag Wednesday night. Didn't double-check it till we got to Vegas. She had packed her swimsuit, 3 pairs of underwear, a pair of sandals, and the pj's she's wearing here. (Ivy was getting a dress from my brother's new in-laws when we got there, so we didn't have to worry about packing that). We picked her up a couple outfits to play in after dinner @ In N Out.

Somewhere out by Barstow.

We teased Ivy about joshua trees being "cactus trees". A little while later, she kept asking the infamous/inevitable "Are we there yet?" every 2-3 minutes, till I turned on a movie for them.

One of our many bathroom stops. This is Primm, Nevada. 1st city past the Nevada/CA border. We didn't stop here, I just took the pic on the way out. The place was called "Terrible's resort & casino". We had a good laugh about how it must be pretty terrible. In Las Vegas, we also saw "Terrible's Car Wash". Tom teased Ivy that they must use mud to wash the cars with. My new sister-in-law told me that Terrible's is a franchise & all over the place in Nevada.

Nevada was pretty hot, but not as hot as we expected. Still in the 100's, but it felt like high 90's since it's a very dry heat, reminiscent of when we get the Santa Ana winds.

Friday

My brother Aaron & new sister-in-law, Kristen.

Both sets of parents got lost in the temple, after everyone had come outside for wedding pics. It took awhile before they were found. Don't have a pic, but they got a big cheer when they came out(as if they were the new brides & grooms).

Wedding reception, Friday night. Family pics were taken before guests arrived. By the time we got there, all 3 kids were asleep. Ivy was cute sleeping on Tom's shoulder. I wanted to get a pic, but the flash of the camera woke her up. After she had been awake for awhile, Tom bribed her(with In N Out stickers) to get her pics taken w/the other little girls who had matching dresses.

Back at the hotel. The kids loved jumping on the 2 beds we had in the room. This tank top was used under Ivy's dress for the reception, she just didn't want to change. It's her first ever tank top.

Andrew looks like he's crying here, but he was having a good old time.

Saturday

This is on our way back thru Baker, CA(30-50 miles from Barstow, closer to Nevada). The world's tallest thermometer, or so Tom says. You can't see it well in the pic, but it said 101 degrees. We could tell a huge humidity difference between CA and Nevada. Once we got back home, we felt very sticky.